Thursday, April 27, 2006


Can it be? Yes it is.. a post!!

This is for all the ladies out there who never thought I would amount to anything.

You were right. I didn't.

Damn you.

Thursday, October 06, 2005


Pork Rinds

The weather is getting a little cooler, a little less sunny. It's this fall weather that's chock full 'o nostalgia.

But nostalgia is a double-edged sword, you know. It can make you reminisce about the good 'ol days with feelings of quiet joy. Or it can make you want to vomit all over yourself.

Ahhh...nostalgia. Sweet nostalgia.

But seriously. I think there's something about this fall weather that makes you realize how much you need your friends and family.

Call a friend today!

Sunday, September 04, 2005


Movie Plot

A funny plot for a movie came to me today.

What if an unmarried girl found out she was pregnant and her boyfriend is supportive and decides to stay with her.
So in preparation for the pregnancy, she eats a lot of food (like peanut butter and anchovies, and ice-cream with ketchup), and rests a lot - all "for the baby."
So she gets bigger and bigger and soon 9 months rolls around.

But then no baby comes. What gives?

It turns out she wasn't pregnant at all, but she somehow misread the pregnancy test. And it wasn't the baby that made her stomach get bigger. It was because of all the eating and resting she did "for the baby". And now she's not pregnant, but just really overweight.

And then the boyfriend finds this out.

And then he leaves her.

Good story?

Thursday, September 01, 2005


New York

I feel like New York is making me harder.

And not in the having an erection sense.

But in the being afraid to trust people sense.

Whatever happened to that little peanut-sized nugget of courtesy that made this country great? Does it only exist in small towns?

Sure, they've got inbreeding and family butt-rape. But hey, at least they've got community.

Tuesday, August 30, 2005


look, i can post!

i feel like a little kid in a candy store.

and i've been allowed into a special club.

this club is boring. nuts.

Sunday, August 28, 2005


Citizen Kane

It feels like my right arm is losing sensation right now.
It's actually just the forearm...this slight, dull pain.

Anyhow, i'm watching a documentary about
Citizen Kane, namely the battle between Hearst and Orson Welles.

Did you know Orson Welles was only 24 when he made
Citizin Kane? Nuts, I say. Nuts!

Tuesday, August 23, 2005



370, 356.

Stayed up 'til 2 and used the pause button quite liberally. Is this a victory? Or a failure? Should I feel proud? Or lame?

Maybe this is the dilemma only a pro-gamer can feel.

Isn't that just crazy? Isn't that just....nuts?

Thursday, August 04, 2005



My hands are sore and my eyes feel like popping out, but at least
i now have 338,947 points in Lumines!! And my anus isn't even

Let the battle rage on... ;P

Tuesday, August 02, 2005


My Anus

My anus is bleeding.


Monday, July 25, 2005


Happy Squirrel

(I imagine this post in a comic/graphic novel form with drawings and captions.)

I love to eat. But I'm not a typical squirrel who eats only nuts.
I'll eat anything.
I don't mean to say I don't like nuts.
But I'll only crack open a nut on special occasions.
So here're some of the special occasions I like to bust a nut open to enjoy a good meal.

When I'm watching TV is a great time to bust a nut.

The days I am lonely are great times to bust a nut, too.
But it is sometimes depressing eating it up all up by myself.
I would rather share.

Sometimes when I don't want to use my hands, I can bust a nut right in my mouth!

And when I make food, I like to bust a nut.
Like when I make cake. I bust a nut and sprinkle, sprinkle it all over the icing.
Yum! (-->picture of squirrel with icing all over his face)

But the very best time to bust a when you're with your friends and family.
Because busting a nut is just one of those things...
...that are meant to be done, with a friend.

Friday, July 22, 2005



I got a haircut! I'm so relieved.
It looks like crap, but at least it'll save
me from the blistering heat...and really,
it's not that hot here.

Hot is 98 degrees at night with no ac and 80 percent
humidity. You have to pass out to sleep, and
mosquitos bite you on the knuckle as you try
to slumber away.

What's up with that?

Saturday, July 16, 2005


Late Night

I hate barely missing Conan and having to see Later with Carson Daly instead.
it's like getting shot in the left nut, and then
trying to staunch the pain with ice.

Wednesday, July 13, 2005



I hate waking up on a perfectly clear morning,
only to be greeted with some terrible news.
It has a disorientating cruelty that sends
a cloud over the rest of what will become
a very, very long day.

Sunday, July 10, 2005


New York

Talking to some friends in New York, it seems that even though they have the fat job with the bling and the status, they're still pretty dissatisfied with life. I guess I'm seeing how bling and status isn't the cure-all I used to think it was.

Thursday, June 23, 2005


Save our homeless squirrels!

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